I haven’t been in the most fun of moods. The woman I was with, in an attempt to cheer me up shot me with the wrapper from her straw. This made me wonder if kids still have spitball fights. I looked around to see it there was anyone I wanted to hit.

We were at my favorite place, In–N-Out Burger. There is nothing like a double-double made animal style, to cheer you up. I go there every year to celebrate my birthday. I wish they served my wine. How good would that be? But, there is nothing wrong with a milk shake. If you feel sorry for my epicurean tastes, I wish to inform you that the first place that I was instructed to go after picking up two leading Chicago restaurateurs/sommeliers at the airport was In-N-Out. Not, Chez Panisse, or the French Laundry? Nope. In-N-Out.

I watch all the people going into the giant burger chain down the street. I wonder why they aren’t going to In-N-Out. Of course I tend to wonder why people drink any one else’s wine but my mine. I can’t figure that out either.

I rolled my first spit ball. I was targeting a group of teenagers annoying an old couple sitting next to them. I chuckled because the one thing about my age is that they would never expect that the spitball that hit them would have come from me. I am going to have to go to confession for this,” I thought. “I suppose I should act my age,” crossed my mind. The woman I was with watched me prepare my shot.

The loudest of the teenagers who was continually in and out (bad pun) of his seat, hit the little old lady for the seventh time causing her to say something. He just looked arrogantly at her. That’s when I turned to my dinner companion.
“You In or Out? (bad pun) I asked.
“In,” she said.
I waited for her to get ready. “When I get to three,” I said. “One,… two,… three.” We fired our shots at the same time. I am not sure where mine went, but she got the arrogant teenager right in the middle of the forehead. He turned and glared.

I responded by waving and giving him my best George Clooney smile. It is charming. If you come to any of my wine dinners I will show it to you. It is one of my best features.