It really is startling news. My National Sales Manager, six foot six Marine, once military guardian of our embassy in Lebanon, shaved head, all around tough guy is taking Yoga. “I have actually lost weight doing it,” he says. “I practice after dinner in my hotel room.”
Hell, after most of our dinners which include a minimum of two martinis, two bottles of wine, and a night cap, we can barely find our hotel rooms. What gives?

I am not to be out done. I immediately went to Yoga Bare It All, and signed up. The lady behind the counter gave me a hard look. “We will start you in Yoga for ninety year olds,” she offered. “The class has started. I am not sure you can keep up.”
“Don’t worry about me I sneered. I am not exactly ninety you know.”

What is with people who dance in the woods, live in trees, and eat granola? The minute they get any authority over you it becomes a million rules to live by.
“Parking is allowed only in designated places.”
“Do not come in to this room with your shoes on”
“Shoes go here. Socks go here. Other things go here.”
“You are expected to dress appropriately.”
“I am not wearing one of those leotards,” I insisted.
“Why not,” she commanded.
“Cause in a leotard and T-shirt I look like a Frog,” I answered.
She looked me over. “I can see that,” she replied.
“I was kidding,” I said mostly to myself.”

I am the best looking guy in the class, if I do say so. But, I am the only one who can’t get up and down off the floor with out the help of a chair. The ladies must think I am cute too. They are always flirting with me. But, I have strict standards. They must show me their stock portfolios and doctor longevity reports.

I am trying to master the cobra pose, the hamstring stretch, and the pelvic floor moving toward tail bone. Of course, wouldn’t you know, after all these years that I never knew how to breathe? It is amazing I am alive.

I know what you are thinking. It is October and I should be talking about the 2011 grape crush. Okay, here is my crush report. It is October. It is raining and that is no good. Happy?

Actually most of our grapes are in. I bought a camera and I am filming the crush. I just haven’t figured out how to get the movies from the camera to the computer. No, there is no filming at the Yoga studio. One rule I can live by.